*music fades in underneath*
Alexandria 0:06: Welcome back to Interrupting Racism! Thank you for joining me for my first official episode titled, “Black Girl Magic”. Status Quo would have it that white supremacy reigns, People of Color remain in a “marginalized status”, that Black Lives and trans lives continue to not matter, heteronormative patriarchy keeps a chokehold on society, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer until they have given up hope, repeated toxic patterns for generations, ended up in jail or 6 feet under. Everything that we do in opposition to the status quo is Interrupting Racism.
In today’s episode, I’m bringing 3 of my very good friends to the interwebs to chitty-chat with me about what its like for us living day to day as Millennial and Gen Z Black women navigating education, career goals, relationships and life in general. They are some dope women I keep in my circle. We’re former college classmates, roommates–we’ll get into all that in a bit. We actually had so much fun recording this episode that we went way over our expected recording time so, I have decided to split this episode into 2 parts, parts a and b. Well, without further ado, let me bring my guests and friends Ellie, Lorice, and Taylor into the mix for part a of Black Girl Magic!
*music fades out underneath*
Alexandria 1:29: Hello my lovely lovely sister friends thank you so much for agreeing to be a part of my first podcast episode, I’m really excited to have you all here for us to chat. And so I thought it would be a good idea to just have y’all start off and introduce yourselves to my listeners and let them know who you are, what you’ve been up to, anything that you’re willing to share is good with me. I figured we could start in alphabetical order but feel free to volunteer whoever wants to go first.
Ellie 2:04: I guess it’s me then. Um, hello everyone my name is Ellie. I’m currently based in Providence, Rhode Island, I’m creative juggling work at Brown University in the department of Africana studies with the graphic design business, Autipacha Studios, you need to design it me up. I’m passionate about transformative politics pursuit of knowledge to keep me busy, to feed my soul I practice yoga I make playlists. And I keep my community of friends as close as humanly possible. And if all of this strikes you is kind of Aquarius, you are correct. So happy to be here Alex thank you for inviting me.
Alexandria 2:40 : (Laughs) I love you so much, thank you Ellie.
Lorice 2:47: I’m like in shock it’s like, Damn, that’s Ellie, like damn like okay. But hey y’all hey, My name is Lorice, I’m from Brooklyn, New York, I’m Caribbean American– Jamaica, you know, its Jamaica, who doesn’t love Jamaica.? Anyways, my passions are in the intersections between law and public policy, advocacy, and educating others. When I’m not exploring community care and alternatives to incarceration, you can find me reading books, listening to music, specifically Soca and Dancehall, and playing Among Us with my friends. I recently graduated in May with my degree in Political Science and Prison Studies, and right now I’m a working girl. This pandemic did not keep me that far down. So I’m a legislative director for the University Student Senate for CUNY. So yeah, that’s me.
Taylor 3:33 : Hi everyone, my name is Taylor Jane Veasley. You can call me TJ if you’d like. I’m from West Philly. Born and raised. I graduated in 2018 with a degree in Political Science and Africana Studies. I’m currently a second year law student at Temple University. My legal focus is in transactional law, specifically in mergers and acquisitions. But if I’m not studying, which doesn’t happen a lot. You can catch me perfecting my pie crust recipes, watching crime, sci fi or The Office –more specifically. Or reading about black liberation, or buying a new plant–that’s what I also do. So I’m very happy to be here very grateful to be here in community with my lovely women, and excited to be a part of this podcast, Alex.
Alexandria 4:18: Awww, thank you so much y’all! Like, wow I know some really like for real phenomenal people. When I see y’all on paper, I’m like, “I know her?”. And then I hear y’all talking like, “oh, she’s fancy!”, you know?
Ellie 4:30: You more than know us–
Alexandria 4:31: So speaking of more than knowing. I really wanted us to talk about how we knew each other. Cuz I, I already mentioned in the intro part of this episode that we all went to college together but I thought we could, you know, dive a little bit deeper into details so everybody can get a quick overview of our connection. Cuz I think we have a very unique connection, and we have our own lingo and our own vibe so, why not tell the peoples how we got here. Anyone want to throw in like how we how–, and maybe if it’s just like how you met one of the people in the group or how we all met or whatever and we all kind of jump in.
Lorice 5:11: I can start.
Alexandria 5:13: Go ahead.
Lorice 5:15: So one day I was a wee little scallywag. I was attending college. And I was like hmm, the Black Student Union, and then boom–Taylor was there. And I bangs with Taylor. Taylor was educating Taylor was leading and I was like hmm, Taylor was good people. At the same time I was in a program called Transitions, which is for first generation/low income students, and I got really bonded with our–also our good friend Cody. Cody lived in Cushing at the time, Cody was giving me a tour of Cushing, and that’s where I met Alex. Alex is good peoples we’ve been connected and meeting, I saw Alex everywhere after that. But at the time I was going on the tour of Cushing, Alex is like “hey, you wanna meet Ellie?”. And I went and I was like, “knock, knock, knock” and Ellie was like I am not here. So, years later, Alex and Taylor lived in the same house, in Soco 2. And I was like Al–no, Taylor invited me over and I was like “Taylor, is anybody else in your house? You know, I got to say hi to everybody who’s in the house”. So she’s like “oh, its just Ellie”. So I went back and was like, “Hi Ellie, my name is Lorice, I just wanna let you know I’m here I’m in your house”. (Laughs) And then it was happily ever after.
Alexandria 6:30: That’s actually so cute.
Taylor 6:30: Precisely.
Alexandria 6:31: I really didn’t know that part about Ellie. Like I forgot about that–you have, you I remember– I forget some of the smaller details of things so that’s really funny. Anybody else want to give their yum yums?
Ellie 6:45: Hey, I was just talking about being neighbors with Alex is the best experience you could ask for. I met Alex in Cushing, of course as the Lorice said, was just a door apart. And then, that was junior year and then senior year we’re like “One more round? Thank you”. And then, Alex introduced me to Taylor, cuz then me and Taylor became roommates basically across the, across the way. And then, it was just a perfect circle of meeting more people through people that I loved and it just being an ever expanding circle of good people. Anyone that y’all introduced me to that year, the year before it was just a welcome addition to life.
Taylor 7:25: Yes. Yes. Word. I can do mine. I have a shoddy memory, so I didn’t wanna do mine.
(laughter)
I’m like–y’all gon be like “that’s them not–I don’t know”. But I believe I met Alex–I met, I met Lorice first I knew Reecie-Poopoo, and Reecie-Poo was my girl, that’s my baby so, there’s that. And then Alex I met through a mutual friend, and the fir– I don’t remember the first time we hung out, but I remember me and Alex really bonded because I one day came over her room I don’t know, I don’t know if she invited me or invited myself which, is on brand. And we just sat and ate Oodles of Noodles and like talked. And she like– first of all, she had the cutest dorm that I’ve ever seen it was a very cute dorm, like was giving New York City apartment hunny! So we were in there chopping it up and I just remember we were like just talking and talking and then our mutual friend I think just proposed like “you all just want to all live together?” and I was like, “why not?”. Sounds good to me. And we had, we had bonded and become friends, become friends before that, but then I came back, and we live together and the rest is history. And Reecie-Poo basically with us. And we had a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful home for a year and, yeah, it’s in the rest is literally history.
Alexandria 8:40: Yeah, legit history. I honestly think that I’m gonna do a whole episode on Soco 2 just cuz it’s it’s a movement, it’s a vibe. Like, so we’ll have another episode, where we talk about our house on campus and that was Soco 2. But yeah, so y’all pretty much gave all of your sides, it’s so interesting to hear the various points of view for that but yeah. So umm, Ellie was my Student Fellow. And I got to know her and I was like “wow, like, one of the only other black people in this whole building”. (Laughs) So that was the vibe, and then I met Lorice, through Cody. And I became like her “college mom”, because I do have a significant age difference over y’all but I was like her “college mom” and I love Lorice and been bangin with her ever since. And then yeah tell her told the story of us and us living together in Soco 2 was like a dope, a dope–I-I-I think it was everything that I needed that I was missing in my life. And so, y’all were that for me. So yeah so thank y’all for giving a little “how we’re connected” vibe.
~Anchor sponsorship ad~
Alexandria 10:19 : So I thought we could start our conversation off with a segment to get our juices flowing. And the first segment is called fill in the blank.
(gameshow sound)
Alexandria 10:31: I’ll provide a sentence, and each of you will fill in the blank with your answer. Okay, so “People who first meet me often think I_______”
Taylor 10:43: …Am funny!
(laughs)
Lorice 10:47: I don’t know why this is the first thing that came to my mind, I was like when people first meet me, the often think that I “sound white”.
Ellie 10:58: Hmm. People who first meet me often think that I am mean as hell.
Alexandria 11:06: Word. Word.
Ellie 11:07: Ooops!
Taylor 11:08: Not “ooops” Ellie!
(laughter)
Lorice 11:10: This got real deep, real quick!
Alexandria 11:11: No–
Taylor 11:11: Also, I’m like “I’m funny”, now I gotta be funny on the podcast. Now they gonna be like “well, let’s see it then”.
(laughter)
Taylor 11:17: “Make us laugh then”! Like–
(more laughter)
Alexandria 11:21: “You said you was funny!”
Taylor 11:22: “I ain’t laughing at all!” Aww, man
Alexandria 11:27: Yeah, I would say. People who first meet me often think I’m either stuck up, or I’m super sweet, which is a wild difference between the two but, yeah it’s one of the other. (Laughs) Alright so the second question: “People who know me best know that I____”.
Taylor 11:50: People that know me that know that I am very… actually very sensitive.
Alexandria 11:58: That’s real if people don’t know you, they wouldn’t know that about you Taylor. That’s, that’s true.
Lorice 12:03: People that know me best know that I could cry for any little thing. But, I like don’t mess with my friends. Cuz I will snap!
Alexandria 12:13: You’re such a Cancer for that. Yes.
(laughter)
Ellie 12:20: Hmm. People who know me best also know that I go very hard for my people and that I might not like you if I don’t know you, but once I know you once you are here, you’ll never leave.
Alexandria 12:33: And what I love about, you know, this group of friends that I love about y’all is that I was going to say that; People who know me best know that I will eff some people up for my friends.
(laughter)
Ellie 12:45: Have witnessed it with my own two eyes
Alexandria 12:47: (Laughing) Like people who know me best know I’m like a pitbull and a skirt. Do not mess with people who are in my circle, if they’re with me, don’t do it. It’s a mistake. So, yes.
Taylor 12:59: That’s on Taurus.
Alexandria 13:01: That’s on Taurus.
Taylor 13:01: That’s on Taurus. That’s on Taurus!
Lorice 13:03: Period!
Alexandria 13:04: So, “Something I wish everyone knew about me is____”
Ellie 13:07: I wish that everyone knew that, composure is not the same as ease.
*snaps* 13:18
Alexandria 13:18: Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, snaps to that. Ok, ok. Something I wish everyone knew about me is that I’m very guarded. And that I have trust issues. And I think some people take that personally. Some people think I’m being fake but, I really wish people just knew that I’m very guarded and so the only way that I can protect myself is to be guarded.
Lorice 13:40: I like that. I’m like nodded my head as if people can hear me. I’m like yes, yes, yes, I agree I felt that. Something I wish everyone knew about me is that I might know exactly what I want to do and where I want to be. And I it might look like that up front but I’m really like a mess up in this head. And I’m just piecing things together on the spot.
Alexandria 14:08: That’s real.
Taylor 14:11: Something I think I wish everyone knew about me was that I want everyone to win. I feel like I want success very badly and sometimes it comes off as I want it for me but at the end of the day, my goal is, everybody eats. And I think my close friends know that but I think people outside of my close circle don’t always feel that and I want them to know that for sure.
Alexandria 14:31: And that’s why we’re friends. The next one is “My Black is___”
Ellie 14:38: Hmm. My Black is constantly evolving.
Alexandria 14:44: Hmm. Hmm. Okay, yeah!
Lorice 14:45: Okay “Miss Deep One” over there!
Alexandria 14:50: I would say my Black is audacious
Lorice 14:55: My Black is defying beauty standards.
Taylor 15:01: My Black is, and this has been my Word of the Week, “kismet”; its fate is destiny is always it’s always ready to be exactly what I need to be there. It’s just, it’s just like that.
Alexandria 15:15: “I’m blank___take it or leave it”!
Lorice 15:20: I’m always in my feels. Take it or leave it
Ellie 15:24: The Cancer jumped out.
(laughter)
Taylor 15:27: Leaped! (Beat) Leaped!
Lorice 15:29: If you ever wonder how like I can be very objective and then like start feeling real deep and emotional, I’m like, cuz I’m always in my bag like–(Laughs)
Taylor 15:36: Always in that bag
Ellie 15:39: Hmm, this is a tough one… I’m operating on my own time. Take it or leave it.
*snaps* at 15:48
Alexandria 15:50: Facts. Hmm. I’m, let me think–I’ma say, I’m an overthinker. Take it or leave it.
Taylor 16:00: I think mine would be, I am going to do what feels good to me. Take it or leave it.
Alexandria 16:06: Mm hmm.
*snaps at 16:06*
Lorice 16:09: Those are powerful statements–
Ellie 16:11: –and it’s so good because all of y’all remind me to keep that part of me going. Every time we talk
Taylor 16:15: Yes. Always
Lorice 16:17: (Mimics crying) We can be in our bag together!
(laughter)
Alexandria 16:25: All right, well, thank y’all for that. That was fun. All right, so let’s kick it off with the questions. “What do you love most about being black”?
Taylor 16:37: I think, I’ll-I’ll jump in. I think one of–I think there’s two things I think one, the versatility. In so many ways, I think we’re very versatile an agile people like we adapt and we form and we mold ourselves to whatever needs to happen for survival and for thriving. And I also think it feels like you know I like “how you hatin’ from from outside when you can’t get in?”. Chris Brown’s cancelled but like also that. I feel like it feels like one comm– It feels like there is one communal feeling. You know there is like a, you know you nod on the street. You know you say “What’s up”, like it’s this feeling of like we are, you know, there’s generational trauma and there’s this continual like we all are kind of fighting a similar fight. Of course there’s nuances, but there’s, we’re all fighting a similar fight and there’s that kind of community, I think that wherever I go, I can find community and Black people. And I think that is really important to me and it makes it feel very special. Specifically Black women also, Black women I think more specifically I feel that.
Alexandria 17:38: Definitely
Lorice 17:41: Tay literally took the thoughts on my head. But just like jumping off of the versatility it’s the creativity. For me, it’s like it’s making something out of nothing for me. Let me stop being a “GenZ-er”.
(laughter)
Lorice 17:55: No, its just like, how many fashion trends, colloquialisms, styles, just come from Black people? And I’m just like, sometimes I think I’m just I’m not creative. Like I just don’t have that bone in my body but I feel like it’s part of my ancestry like part of the people.
Ellie 18:16: I think this changes every day but, today, what I love most about being Black is that our politics includes everyone. It’s never been about trying to get free for us, it’s been about trying to make it so that nobody has to fight to get free at all. It’s so that the power structures that exist, will not exist anymore. And it’s, you know, Blackness in my mind is not concerned with the bandaid. It’s just like, what are we doing to make sure that our children are an–ya know, when we are ancestors. You know, what are the generations that come after us going to need to be free, and how can we bring that about in our daily lives today?
Alexandria 17:54: Y’all always bring– I love y’all,. Yeah, ya know, like–
(laughter)
Alexandria 19:04: In case people don’t know like that *snap*-*snap*-*snap* you hear is a snap so we’re on here snapping. Like “snap, snap”!
Ellie 19:11: We’re snapping.
Alexandria 19:12: No cuz like I don’t know what it sounds like anybody else but I’m like I can see, I can see all y’all like snap and I’m like “Yes, yes! Snap snap!”, but yeah so I just wanted to put that out there if y’all hear like *snap*-*snap*-*snap*, that’s a snap.
Lorice 19:26 : I’m also trying not to like talk over someone and be like “Yes I felt that!”
Taylor 19:29: I keep doing like spiritual, like spiritual “mmmhmmm”.
Alexandria & Taylor: 19:33: Mmmhmm!
Taylor 19:34: Ancestral “mmmhmm”!
Alexandria 19:36: Yea, I mean–
Lorice 19:36: Mmmhmm!
(laughter)
Alexandria 19:41: So the, this next question I was thinking about, for one, what brings you joy, in general? And then a part B to that during this pandemic, what specifically brings you joy? Because I think what brought me joy pre COVID-19 doesn’t necessarily do that same thing for me, or maybe it does but in a different way. So I’m just like those two questions: What brings you joy in general? And then, what has brought you joy or peace or whatever it is during this pandemic?
Lorice 20:11: Hmm. I’ just wanna start and say that, that– that was real. Like that question, I’m about to steal it and run every meeting with that question… What brings me joy is being in connection with others. Seeing y’all faces again, I really truly wanted to cry. It’s like ahh, the energy, I’m ready to suck it in and be happy, to the point where I’m literally like I just always remember; Alex was like, “I’m gonna fold my laundry and put it away” and I’m like, “I just want to sit here with you. Let me know where I can cop my little spot, and that’s where I’ma sit”. I don’t–there’s a word for that but, I really much just like take good energy from all the space and I like to give it back out. And you know when people’s like social battery like dies? I feel like, I’ma sit next to Ellie, I’ma sit next to Taylor, I’ma sit next to Alex I’m just be rejuvenated.
And then, what brings me joy in this pandemic though? Since I can’t steal your energies unless I can do it like from the computer, was finding how to care for myself without anybody else. And I realized
*snaps at 21:07*
Lorice 21:09: Aww, thanks–I realized that I lack that heavy. And I started to grow that in college, but it was just like, I cannot be so dependent on others to make me happy.
(sighs of agreement)
Lorice 21:21: And I was like, it will be like three o’clock in the morning I’m searching my phone. I’m like who’s up because I need to talk. And I was like, All right, I’m gonna seek therapy. And this is wild because there’s a lot of people I know that don’t *correction* that don’t know I seek therapy. And I just said it on a recording. So I seek therapy, and like, I had to separate my journals from like this is my thoughts, this is my work and start incorporating like different practices. So it’s like it’s it’s– what brings me joy in the pants I make is putting myself first.
Alexandria & Taylor 21:46: Mmmm!
Lorice 21:48: That’s a long answer but I’m–
Alexandria 21:51: No, it wasn’t a long answer at all and I think, I think, first of all, because I know you like I think that that’s such a big growth, because, you know–and that’s something that I struggle with too. Right, like sometimes I’m going through something and I’m like, “Who can I call?”, and you know about whatever it is. But sometimes it’s about self soothing right, and that’s like a re-parenting thing learning how to self soothe when you’re going through something. And you mentioned also going to therapy. And you said it’s the first time that you’re like, I guess quote “outing” yourself on that right now, because people don’t know that. But, I’m always talking about how I go to therapy and, you know, It’s a process but I’m always trying to normalize it so I’m glad that you said it, because it needs to be normalized I think especially in the Black community like saying like, “Oh, I’m in therapy” people go, “Oh, so you’re crazy”. Which is like such a, it’s a mean word right, like I don’t even like to use that word anymore because it’s so loaded. But to know that everybody had a childhood. And, you know, parents aren’t perfect that we didn’t come with the handbook and so of course yeah there’s gonna be parts of us that are messed up.
Lorice 22:50: Just like adding on to what you’re talking about like therapy is loaded, I think also just people bring up the conversation like therapy ain’t free!
*snaps at 22:55*
Lorice 22:56: And this problem with insurance, it’s like wow. So, promotion, that I should be like, you know, sponsored by Taraji P. Henson’s ya know Foundation, because that is where I find my therapist, and I ain’t pay a dime!
*snaps at 21:08*
Taylor 23:08: Yes!
Ellie 23:10: Big one ups to the therapy. I think that it is a critical part of growing up, and being self aware and understanding that there are parts of you that serve you, parts of you that are coping mechanisms for a situation that you no longer inhabit, so you got to let it go. And sometimes that does not feel good. So, there’s never any shame in trying to get someone to help you through that process because it’s really hard to do it for yourself.
So, yeah, personal growth, I think, brings me joy. And that is something that the Covid-19 pandemic has taught me because I kind of located all of my joy and achievement, and you know after moving to a new city with where all my people were you know at least four or five hours away, it’s like I used to get my joy in the same way that Louise was talking about where I go and I call buddy and we sit on the roof and we talked for a couple hours and then I feel like somebody plugged me into the wall. And I’m ready to go again. But I didn’t have that luxury anymore. And so, it began a journey of trying to find joy in things that I could do for myself. And I realized, kind of in retrospect that those things weren’t actually for me, they were for other people to say that I was doing a good job. And that kind of like *snap*-*snap*-*snap* from people who you don’t even really care about doesn’t go as far as being able to tell yourself “You are growing”. This thing that you are dealing with is easier mountain to climb today than it would have been six months ago, and that is cause for celebration, inside the self.
*snaps* at 24:44
Ellie 24:45: So, yeah, I think that realization, makes me happy every day. But also, just like consistently practicing yoga. Like I will try my best to create that peace of mind without it, but nothing brings it like sitting there and just like working all of your feelings out in a physical way. Just makes me feel so good y’all.
Alexandria 25:07: Hmm. I think a lot of what I’ve been struggling with during the pandemic has been that there’s a part of me that’s like you are what you produce, so I’m always just like what am I producing? What brings me joy, pre COVID was probably like y’all said just being a community I love being with my friends I love spending time with y’all. Like you know we used to do our homework in the kitchen together and we’d all be at the same table, even if we have on headphones, like none of us are talking but like just seeing all when I look up from typing you know the last two pages, that brings me joy. And I think not having that in the in the pandemic, what has brought me joy is just yeah finding myself and being kinder to myself. And taking those moments to say, okay, you were mean you like badgered yourself. But now, forgive yourself and take a moment and, yeah. Ellie, you mentioned yoga and I miss you because I feel like that was something you always did, I miss doing it with you.
Ellie 26:03: I’m gonna start trying to record some classes and share them with people. Cuz I’m getting recertified (screams of joy from others) so I will be able to distribute them. And I hope that I can inspire y’all to hop on the mat with me.
Alexandria 26:18: Yes, black business, like do that!
Taylor 26:21: Come on, run the coins up honey!
Lorice 26:23: Yes!
Taylor 26:24: So I think that I’m a super, super social person. But during COVID I’ve become I’ve developed a very acute social anxiety, which I think has been really tough for me to deal with because I think I struggle now to be around people. And I mean you shouldn’t, ya know, like safety like we’re not going to parties but like just more generally I think I struggle, even with virtually like connecting with people the way that I was able to connect with them kind of organically before. So I think what I’ve been-kind of to what you guys said of like a major way– Like a running joke when I was in law– so I’m in my second year in law school. My first year, running joke with all my friends was like “Taylor is always on the phone”, because I was always on the phone because all of my closest friends, including you all live very far away from me. And so I was always on the phone, and that was like for me like a really a recharge. But now I still am on the phone often because of all of my friends still live very far away, but I think I’ve been trying to– law school is very isolating I live alone. I’ve been trying to find ways to still, I guess like recharge within myself I guess like all of you are saying like finding ways to restart recharge with myself a big thing for me has been baking.
I think and I think it comes from me feeling like I don’t have control over what’s happening in my life, mainly like COVID, just, you know, in general, like life things. And baking is is chemistry, its science so you put some things in, and you get a result. And not, not that all my stuff tastes amazing. But I think I like the feeling of, you know, I’m putting this ingredients together I’m putting love into it I’m doing all these things and it’s coming out. And I’m perfecting this recipe and I think it’s something small. But for me I found not that it replaces by any means like me finding love or like community with my girlfriends because nothing in the world can replace that but, I think it’s been a process of me trying to kind of strike out on my own and kind of trying to find ways to recharge my own battery.
I mean, I grew up an only child so everyone knows I like my alone time. Come on Ellie! You know, like my alone time. But I think, trying to figure out what that alone time looks like cuz my alone time before it was like, alone time for me just meant studying alone or reading alone, or you know whatevering alone. But I’m like, now I want to be more intentional about when I am alone I’m healing, or when I’m alone I’m doing something that sparks joy. I’m going on a bike ride. I’m going on a walk. I’m going on a hike and kind of making those alone things not just like I’m doing this by myself but instead like I’m recharging myself I’m replenishing this kind of battery. And, yeah, I think it’s kind of it’s a process I don’t even have a final answer but it’s kind of been a process. Trying to refigure out, who is Taylor without her like social excitement? Who’s Taylor outside of the context of others outside of the context of, you know her community? I think that’s something I’ve been really dealing with and kind of grappling like and what does that look like?
Alexandria 29:09: I’m really glad to hear that you all are finding ways to grow. And I know that every day. doesn’t look amazing and it’s not peachy but, that all are committed to becoming better people on the other side of this. And I can’t wait till we get to the other side of this that we can all touch each other like again like I just wanna–I want to like, touch your shoulder like, be like, “Oh my god, you’re real!”.
*music plays underneath*
Alexandria 29:39: Um, yeah. I said what I said.
*music fades out underneath*
Alexandria 29:48: Did something happen where you thought to yourself or even had to say out loud, “I said what the *bleep* I said”; having to put someone in their place or end a convo or whatever?
Ellie 30:00: I’m just trying to think of something that’s not gonna get me fired or, kicked out of my house or just anything that’s not gonna blow up somebody spot.
(agreement from others)
Lorice 30:11: You gotta start using code names and all.
(laughter)
Taylor 30:11: I was about to say–
Alexandria 30:13: –That’s when you start saying “based on a true story. None of these names and some of the things have been changed”.
(laughter)
Alexandria 30:20: –to protect identity.
Ellie 30:24: I think the kind of scrubbed version of this story is one of the things that has been in the forefront of my mind in my current life right now. The generational differences in forms of activism. And how many folks in older generations have a different picture of activism, and a different picture of what works, and a different picture of how to go about achieving liberation, or even what the goal should be. It’s like, there are disagreements and every possible section. And we were talking, as a group, about how back in the 60s, 70s, 80s, there was the Black Panther and was it that was, you know, putting food on tables and teaching people about Black history, and just doing good work in every sense of the word. And there was the sense among group, there was nothing like that that exists anymore. And that there was nothing that was organized, there was nothing that was powerful, and that there was too much of a focus on the digital world, and you know all of this stuff that happens in a computer has been intangible or not true.
And as someone who I’ve actually studied the intersection of media technology and race. And as someone who spent a lot of time thinking about how Blackness is a technology and then also how blackness can be used and manipulated to be you know to work with technology to further all points of liberation and all that. I was just like, this is a place that matters that expending energy, tweeting and making complicated texts and complicated history legible and 140 characters, and putting it where people are is worthwhile. And there was a lot of kind of back and forth about this and kind of like “well that’s not you know actually making any differences”. And I felt really strongly about it, you know, it making sense to me and me having these receipts that they wanted me to have and you sort of being like our generation is doing what makes sense and it might not look good, until we’re looking at it 30 years from now in advance, we’re not going to be able to see these effects; but I know for a fact that there have been a lot of people during this pandemic that have found a lot of new interesting things out online. And there have been a lot of people that have joined this quote unquote movement, purely based on the interactions that they’ve had via social media. So, what I said in that moment was “the digital world, and the technological inclinations of this generation is indeed activism”. Full stop. I said what I said.
Taylor 33:11: So that’s that on that.
Alexandria 33:12: Thank you for sharing that on that.
Taylor 33:13: And that’s that on that. I love that. I had a conversation recently with one of our other friends, Maya. I’ma give her a shout out cuz it’s her idea, I don’t want anyone thinking I stoled it. But she’s a historian and an archivist, and she was talking about how important it is to think of social media, specifically things like Twitter where we’re using a lot of words as archives, and as like archival work and it’s like historic work of like building histories. Just to your point Ellie, like this is you know people before would like write in their journal now wherever their journals–Twitter, people use Twitter as their diaries and journals like. So it’s like we’re reading in real time and like you said right now maybe it’s like “dang she talked way too much on Twitter, girl is trippin'”. But like later on, it’ll be like, this is a reflection of what was happening in the time. Our newspapers you know now are like, oh, a cat jumped off a building today, ugh (fakes drama). You know, so like our newspapers aren’t necessarily as reflective as we would like them to be of what’s happening in the time. So I think it’s even more true to form, you know, we can get into the scam of the news world but like it’s even more true to form that like people are tweeting their realities. And I think that’s a really really important and very overlooked point to make. So ase (pronounced ah-shay).
Lorice 34:25: It’s also like accessibility, it’s about sharing. It’s about connecting . Also, let somebody say something like that and we in a pandemic and all we doing is relying on the internet to connect to each other. Also, let somebody say that as if, (laughter in between) the same people who are of the older generations, we’re not checking Facebook to judge people for a job interview. So, this like–
Alexandria 34:48: Word.
Lorice 34:50: –you told me that’s not important? You tell me that’s not a form of activism? Ellie, I’m glad that you were in that space. And I know that had to have been a lot, but I’m glad that you spoke your voice, and you educated them little, them little asses.
(laughter, *snaps* and mmmhmms)
Alexandria 35:03: Whew-wee. I was thinking about an incident that happened to me, a couple weeks ago now. I’ma try to make this long story short. But anyway, my friend and I, we had drove out to see our homegirl in the Bronx, we went to park at this lot, and we told the person, we’re going to pick it up in the morning. When we came in the morning, it was like 615 ish. He looked at our ticket and he said, “Oh yeah, nah”. We were like “What you mean nah?”. He was like “You said you weren’t coming back until the afternoon so it’s all the way in the back, and we can’t get it”. And we were like, “No, we said the morning. Why? Because we knew we were leaving in the morning”. He was like, “Well, that’s what’s on this ticket”.
I mean, and we should have known right? Because the person the night before, he had like four cars sitting there waiting. And so he probably wrote the wrong time on our ticket and wrote somebody else’s time on a different ticket like, people make mistakes. I’m not mad about that part, the part that I was mad about was that, you know, here we are, it was three Black women standing in front of him. And, and there’s just a lot of disrespect that comes towards Black women, pretty much, whoever you’re in front of. And he dead was like, “That’s not my problem”. And I was like, “It is your problem because we need our car, we’re paying– we’re paying you to keep it here, and we need to get her to work. And he’s like, “I don’t know what to tell you”. So fast forward, we’re out there for like two hours. Okay, it’s cold and I’m remaining calm. And if y’all know me, that that is growth cuz me for two hours remaining calm and somebody is like disrespecting me. That is growth but I tried to like stay cool or whatever.
There was this there was this one black guy, a stranger like he was coming to get his car but his homegirl, and he defended us. And he–and you know it was those moments in life where I was like wow, this happened for a reason because I needed to fill that validation that we’re not wrong. He literally came and he was like, “You mean to tell me y’all been waiting for your car for over an hour and it’s cold outside, and all they had to say to you was like, oh well you got to wait? They only did that because y’all are Black women and people love disrespecting Black women”. And I was like “wow!”, because, you know when you say it people go oh sure that’s the problem but like somebody else walked to the situation, a stranger and is like “That’s how they do y’all”. And he literally like went up to him and got rowdy and was like “Yo stop playing with them and get their car!”. It actually like lit a little bit of a fire underneath their behinds because like they did move a little bit fast they did eventually get our car. And so when it was finally time they get the car– Rude the guy comes over to us again, like we did something to him and he’s like, “Alright, I’m going to get your car now so you need to pay first. I’m not going to get it unless you pay”. And then I lost it.
Yeah, so anyway that happened and I was really upset about it. And then I went on Instagram and I posted and I was just like, yo, “Honestly, Black women deserve the world”. And that’s all that I posted on my story, and of course there’s more to that there was more nuance to it but it’s my story I can post whatever I want to post on it. Now if you have questions about it, you can come my DM, you can ask. But instead of questioning someone came in my dm and was like “correction”.
Lorice 37:59: I remember this–
Alexandria 38:00 : –Ok? Girl! He was like, “ALL women deserve the world”.
(everyone moans and groans)
Alexandria 38:09: And so I was like I was like, “Yeah, no, I said what I said. I said what I said” and he was like, “Yeah, I just can’t get behind you on that”. And I was like, “I didn’t ask you to! I don’t need you to! Who are you? My representative? I said–!”. And so I said “You know what, matter of fact?”. I went on my page again and I was like “I said what the *bleep* I said”! I said it! If you don’t like it, I don’t know what to tell you. But I said that Black women deserve the world and that’s because y’all refuse to give it to us, and you give it to everyone else. Well, that was a long story, just for that but like, ugh! I had to say and I felt like other people should hear it too (laughs).
Lorice 38:44: My mouth is open cuz I did not know the backstory the larger backstory to the post.
Alexandria 38:48: Hmmph! But I said what I said. Periodt!
Taylor 38:50: Said what I said. Period… I have a story in mine with a little while ago, actually, cuz it’s just the one. There was a time. Yeah, like, a couple years ago maybe like two or three years ago now, I guess. And I was abroad so we don’t have to say it. Two, three years ago, I guess, and this young– this young white girl was talking crazy out her mitt to like this little Black boy, in a McDonald’s– in a Mac-Donald’s. And mind you, I’m abroad. I’m on a visa hunny, so you know we gotta watch this steps sweetheart. But, but so she like told the little boy–so like the little boy was play fighting with his brother, as little boys do and he’s a little Black boy. And she was like– and he was, he was teasing him. He’s his older brother he was teasing him, sure. And she’s like “You can’t talk to him like that like”, you know, she’s kind of get a little spicy. And so I have headphones in cuz I’m talking to a friend, as I said I’m always talking to a friend. So I’m talking to a friend from back home. I was especially missing my friends then and she’s talking and so I take out one headphone. I’m like “Okay what’s the tea?”. you know, she’s getting a little– I’m like what does this white girl have to say with the young Black boy.
And then I hear her– so then he says his little brother like “I’ma gonna beat you up”, you know, whatever “I’ma gonna beat you up”. Alright, they’re also around the same age. So he’s like, “I’ma beat you up”. And she goes, “If you put a hand on him I’ma– I’ma whatev–” insert here “t..o you”. So I said, oh ok. I said, ok. I said this is really interesting, I said this is interesting to me. Perked my ear. And so I said to her, I was like, “Well, you’re not gonna talk to him like that because, you know, if you do then its with me. Now, now its pressure with me”. And so it escalated, whatever, again I was abroad so I wasn’t doing too much and I was by myself praise God. And so, they came–it came to a moment of like, she was very much on the, on the fence of like “Well he was talking to him crazy, so I’ma beat his butt if he try to touch him”. And I was like, “Well then I’ma have to beat everybody butt because you ain’t ’bout to put your hands on this Black boy so it is what it is”. And she was very like taken– you know she’s like, “Well, what do you have to do with this? Like what is it even your business?” –in a British accent. Throw that in there. And she’s like, “You know, what are you, what are you about to do?”. And so I was like, “Listen”. I don’t know if I said I said what I said but I’m just gonna take this as I said what I said as an energy.
And I– and the guy at the McDonald’s, the manager whatever he was like “Y’all have to go outside with that” like “y’all can’t be in here, rowdy or whatever”. So I stepped outside and I was out there and I said, “Bring it on out”, because what it was– like I think as a Black woman, I am ready and willing to die on the hill of like you will not put your hands, you will not abuse, you will not yell, (*snaps* from others) you will not raise your voice to a Black child that you do not know. You just won’t, not in my presence. And I’m ready to die on that, like, and that’s just what it is. And so I think that for me, and I think I carry that energy, not with just Black children, with Black people period. I feel like, you know, this is a larger thing but I feel like when it comes to that that is one thing I have like zero– I’m a zero tolerance policy kind of girl. Even if I see someone getting pulled over by the cops, I’m pulling over with you like “what’s up?”. I’m a zero tolerance kind of girl.
So I think it’s just a really–but I think that’s black woman’s energy always. I think to Alex’s story like, we get disrespected so constantly that when we see it happening, I feel like I know that feeling so acutely, I know that feeling from being a Black girl, from being a child being disrespected by everyone to now being adult being disrespected by so many people. I know that feeling; And I don’t want to see anyone else experience that, ever. And I’m willing to die on it. Like I can’t even– I’m not a fighter y’all, hey, praise God. But I will like throw hands over that and that’s just– so anyway that it carried. And I don’t know if I said, “and I said what I said”. But I know it carried the energy of “I said what I said”. I’m standing here, what’s up? She didn’t come out, you know, fast forward–she didn’t come outside of McDonalds. But you know, I don’t know you know but anyway that’s that’s– I think that story always stuck with me because I think sometimes you question your own beliefs and your own values. But I feel like, and sometimes I think like “Am I, who I think I am?”, which I always try to ask myself. And I think in moments of like, where I’m like, quick– I’m always who I think I am. I’m always that girl that will show up every single time and like I feel like that, that always reminds me like, who I am is who I am and like that’s kind of, I said what I said. Like–
Lorice : She didn’t knuck when she thought she could buck.
(laughter)
Alexandria 43:08: And now it’s time for the Recommendation of the Week.
*music drops in and out*
Alexandria 43:13:This week’s Recommendation of the Week is a book written by the author professor and activist, Brittney Cooper. It’s called Eloquent Rage; A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower. The title alone should grab you but if it doesn’t, here’s some of the description about the book from the Scribd audiobook website– That’s where I get my audiobooks. “So what if it’s true that Black women are mad as hell? They have every right to be in the Black feminist tradition of Audrey Lorde Brittney Cooper reminds us that anger is a powerful source of energy that can give us the strength to keep on fighting. Far too often, Black woman’s anger has been caricatured into an ugly and destructive force that threatens the civility and social fabric of American democracy. But Cooper shows us that there’s more to the story than that. Black women’s “eloquent rag”e, is what makes Serena Williams such a powerful tennis player. It’s what makes Beyonce’s Girl Power anthems resonates so hard. It’s what makes Michelle Obama an icon”– and I agree.
When I read this book last year, it was a reminder to me that my anger is valid. My experiences are valid. And while the world loves to paint an angry Black woman even without her permission, I can find strength in that level. Cooper tells the story is about her experiences that were so relatable and yet and still it was the work of an academic. I truly enjoyed this piece and will probably read again sometime soon. If you’re looking for a book that’ll be validating. This is one. If you’re looking for a book that’ll get you a better understanding of Black women’s experiences in America. Yep. Still, the one. I thought it was the perfect choice for this week’s episode.
Going back to school as an adult learner or sometimes referenced as a quote, “non traditional student”, it was a unique experience, I had already spent about a decade in the working world, holding various positions ranging from sales associate to assistant store manager. I’d already seen and felt the way, Black women were viewed and treated in society, what was expected of us, and the disrespect and unequal pay we were expected to be quote “grateful” for.
When I went back to school and started to learn that there was a name for the experiences I was having like microaggressions– you know, tiny inappropriate marks and statements that to the naked ear sound harmless, or vague enough for someone out of the targeted group to see as offensive. I gravitated towards the study of those phenomenons. All my life I had been told that I was too sensitive, or over analyze the situation or I just looked too deeply into someone’s comments and always take offense. And then, there I was in a classroom finding out that other people could relate to me. And someone had deemed these experiences worthy of being taught in a college classroom. It was then that I began to truly understand that personal testimony can live as factual, tangible proof that is validated, even in academia. It’s books like Brittney Cooper’s, Eloquent Rage that continue to fuel and propel me forward knowing that what I have to say matters to someone who just like me was convinced that all I had been through, didn’t matter and wasn’t going to change. So I certainly recommend this read for you if you have a chance to read it, let me know what you think. Hit me up in a DM or an email, I’ll leave all that information for you at the end of this episode.
*music fades in underneath*
Alexandria 46:43: All right, so that’s it folks. We’ve come to the end of the first part of our conversation with these amazing Black women. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to kick off my podcast, and to give you all a feel for how it’s gonna flow. Tune in two weeks from today, that is, two Sundays from now to listen to Black Girl Magic (Part B), where we’ll talk about some of the stereotypes and barriers standing in Black women’s way when it comes to career, relationships and everyday living. I thank you again for joining. And I look forward to seeing you again on the interwebs.
You can follow Interrupting Racism on Instagram with the handle @interruptingracismpodcast or email me at interruptingracismpodcast@gmail.com. Make sure you follow, or subscribe, or whatever the function looks like on your podcast streaming service so that you’re first to know when a new episode lands, and you don’t miss out on any of our conversations interrupting racism.
*music fades out underneath*
This transcript was generated by https://otter.ai. Edited by Alexandria J Smalls
Interrupting Racism Podcast 